Finding my way…

It’s hard to believe that we celebrated Easter Sunday in our pajamas, attended mass in our living room, and ate a huge feast with just the five of us.   I sat at the dinner table last night, and tried to remember a Easter without our extended families, and I couldn’t.  I missed them so much, especially my mom.  I was able to make baskets and make my Easter display on the kitchen table, with the help of some very special local merchants who shopped and delivered my handpicked items, and made it so the ‘Easter bunny’ could still come for my 22, 20 and 15 year olds… Overall, we had a nice day, but that ‘pang’ in my heart is ever present.   My mom is isolated in her apartment within my sisters home, and she has to maintain social distance even more so as a 83 year old, and to avoid coming in contact with my brother in law who is a doctor.   Fortunately for Easter, she was able to leave her apartment and eat dinner with them, while in protective gear, 12 feet from my sister and her family.  My mom is amazing.

I heard honking and beeping about 7:30pm last night, and a text came through from my friend Emmy to ‘Come outside”.   In my pajamas, I ran out, and she and her daughter were parked in front of our home – driving by to wish me a Happy Easter.   I just started to cry, I wanted to jump in the car and hug everyone.  It was such a small simple gesture, and it meant so much.   It’s so tough to be physically away from those we love – I am not a hugger, but I swear I am going to hug everyone I see once this is behind us.  You just don’t realize how important being in someones physical presence is – it’s a feeling of being complete, and that all is right with the world.  I have felt that way with my sisters since we lost our pop – when we are together, it’s just right.  It doesn’t matter what we are doing or where we are, when we are forced to be apart with no other choice, it hurts.

Fortunately, social distancing seems to be working, as the statistics are getting a tiny bit better.  I am hopeful each day the reports show we are flattening the curve – to be honest, I don’t know how much longer I can be in this house with the same people.  God I love them, but we are in need of a change of scenery!

We are learning so much during this time, in our homes, in our relationships, within ourselves.  I imagine when we come out of quarantine, we will be happier more positive people.  I continue to look for the silver lining in all this, and I am hopeful it becomes clear soon.  My sister Karen keeps reminding me that we are all in this together, even though we are apart.

Stay well and be safe.  It is what it is.

XO KB

It was nice to wake up to sunshine and blue skies this morning on April 9th…but crazy winds and freezing temperatures?  It feels like February.  Seriously though, most days I have NO idea what day it is.  I keep missing my favorite show on television because I think it’s the wrong day.  While we might not be physically ill, quarantine is messing with my mind.   Everything is “off” – my eating, my exercise and most of all my sleep.

Today my friends and I started day 17 of our 30 day virtual yoga class – the title of todays class was “Find your happiness”.  I find that very apropos to the current state of mind that I and so many others are currently facing during this period of social distancing.  It’s almost impossible to have a clear head right now – the media (all types) is causing such a panic, mostly with the conflicting reports during this pandemic.  I am fortunate to have a very level headed, calm, cool & collected spouse – when I start to go off the rails, he reels me right back in.   It’s starting to happen more often as the days roll into one month of isolation.   I continue to try and focus on the positives and keep faith in the system, and most of all rely on the one who is really in charge. It’s is all I can do.

We lost our early quarantine momentum the last two weeks or so, and have left many of our projects sit idle while we focused on other things.  Yesterday we went back in the basement to begin going through and organizing 20+ years of pictures.   Sorting them is time consuming, and Brian and I are constantly stopping to discuss a treasure one of us stumbled upon.  I have about a two hour (if that!) tolerance for this task, as it doesn’t take long before my emotions take over and I am a sobbing mess.  When I stopped today, Brian said, “where are you going? this is the perfect project for a pandemic!”…  This coming from the guy who then decided to do a “flashlight audit” for the remainder of the afternoon.  Just in case we lose power anytime soon, we are all set.  Someone needs to go back to work!

Family game night is losing its appeal after almost a month, so we skipped the traditional games last night and did “virtual horse racing”.  It was live streamed from the social staff at our favorite resort, Woodloch Pines.  It’s a favorite activity of ours when we have stayed at Woodloch over the past 20 years, and it was a lot of laughs playing along at home.  Woodloch, like so many closed businesses, is doing their best to keep their guests  entertained from afar, and this was extremely creative on their behalf.    Tomorrow we are going to start a jigsaw puzzle, and see how well we work together.  It could be a very short activity.

This morning while I was feeling the impact of being separated from our families on Easter Sunday,  I found this short poem on Facebook.  It was shared by my sweet friend Elaine, and really hit home.   I read it once, circled back and re-read it again, and let it sink in for a minute or two.

 I don’t think it’s self-isolation.

I think it’s self-discovery.

Discovering that you have all you need:

Family to pray for.

Friends to miss.

Faith to hold on to.

Maybe we’ve had happiness all along.

So let’s spend some time alone.

The beauty of the world right now,

Is within all of our homes.  

 

So while we are at home on Easter Sunday, let’s grasp the happiness we do have.  It is a time for renewal and miracles, and I believe that is what will come.

Stay safe, stay home, and be well –

xo KB

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I sat down this afternoon to write this blog, wondering what I was actually going to write about.  Our lives are a little bit like the Bill Murray movie “Groundhog Day” – it’s the same exact day over and over.  The only exception being the COVID 19 statistics and guidelines, which change by the minute during this national pandemic.   Near my desk in my bedroom where I sit with my laptop, is a small bookcase I took from my parents house when it was sold.   It’s tall and narrow and filled with items that are only special to me.  I have it leaned against my favorite picture of my pop on my wall.  As I grumbled and complained internally about my writers block, the entire bookcase filled with memorabilia just fell forward on top of me, spilling it’s contents all over my room.  I sat here dumbfounded as to how this occurred, as the usual culprit of strange incidents was sound asleep on my bed and didn’t even lift his head.  Then it hit me, well literally the bookcase did, but it dawned on me that I just got a sign.  Like a smack in the head from my dad telling me to get myself together and get over it (actually his exact words would be ‘quit your bellyaching spaghetti arms’).  Sitting at my desk, in my safe home, filled with my healthy family and tons to do, is not a problem.   Sometimes it takes a simple reminder, or a not so subtle one to wake up.  I am currently icing my arm. LOL.  No, really I am.   The many life lessons he taught me are just imbedded in the core of my soul.

Restlessness is becoming more evident in our home as the days go by – Brian has begun to send a text to our family group chat at lunch outlining the afternoon.   Today’s text is as follows: 3:00pm dog walk, 5:30 car ride 6:00pm Happy hour on deck 7:00pm dinner…  It helps to have this simple understanding of the afternoon/evening, but sometimes we have low participation from the troops.   Most days, no one replies to him, but at the appointed time someone will emerge from the teen/young adult cocoons and join in.  I’ve said this so many times, having all this time and nothing on the schedule is just foreign to us.   Over coffee this morning, Brian held up his calendar on his iPad – it was blank.  I said “wait, let me check mine!”,  my only entry was a reminder for my daily virtual yoga class at 10:30am.   Our new normal is full of free time. Another new phenomenon  I have noticed is labeling of food items, and signs/notes (mostly written by me) posted all over the house.  With all of us home, and one leftover thief  in particular home from college, this has become more frequent!  Something else that has made an appearance is the “Poll of the day” that is  written on the mirror in the kid’s bathroom. Apparently one of my comedians posts a new one daily.   I’m telling you we are all cracking up.

I am more and more impressed with our small town of Wyckoff, as we hunker down and deal with the ramifications of COVID19.  There is so much happening behind the scenes to support and encourage those who are in need.  Countless people in town (who knew they harbored secret sewing skills!) are sewing masks for hospitals, frontline workers, and community members in need, groups have formed to raise funds and work with local restaurants to feed the healthcare teams at the local hospitals, and local businesses who remain closed under the government mandates are fulfilling orders via phone/email/direct message and delivering directly to our homes.   Everyone is stepping up to the challenge to beat this pandemic.   We are fortunate enough to have a very dedicated and passionate mayor, who sends out an informative email every evening around 9:30.  Some days this is the ONLY news I will read.  The tone and direction of Mayor Shanley’s emails are both alarming and comforting.  He states the facts, the statistics, the shocking numbers of Bergen County and our town, yet he encourages and reminds us DAILY that we are in this together, that we are #Wyckoffstrong and we will get through it.

I wish I could turn off my ‘worry’, but I have faith that we will win this war, this new normal will be behind us and we will be stronger for it.  I have a sign on my desk that says; “Turn your worries into prayers – PHIL 4:6”, I am going to be very busy.

Stay safe, stay home, and be well.

XO KB

 

It’s an interesting time in our world right now.  I am finding myself laying awake worrying about things that I have never even thought about before, and I am having thoughts that just won’t go away.   I am not sure how to process some of it, but fortunately having a vast sounding board helps me deal. My panel of listeners consists  mostly of Brian, my mom, and my two yoga pals, but they listen and relate and most of all make my worries seem normal.  This is a new time for us all living in this social isolation, and boy does it make my mind wander!   The yogi’s and I did complete day 13 of our 30 day virtual yoga class today, and we are feeling bendy! The best part of yoga is still the before/after daily FaceTime catch up with my friends.   We have BIG PLANS for when we are let out of our homes.  BIG PLANS.

I skipped my morning routine today so that I could get to the grocery store as soon as they opened.    I had my list organized by department, my gloves and new mask (our neighbor sewed us all matching masks made out of Brian & Tyler’s old clothes – thank you Leslie!) and my Clorox wipes ready to go.   What I didn’t expect was the LINE wrapped around the store.   I was glad that they were limiting the number of people entering at a time, but I was not prepared for the cold and froze my ass off.  It’s all good though, I managed to fill TWO carts, and was on my way in TWO HOURS.  Something happens to me when I get in the grocery store during this pandemic.  I think it’s called PANIC.  I know they won’t close the stores, and we will have access to food and necessities as these days go by, but I am just overcome with an urge to keep stocking up.  (I really could use a third freezer Brian!)

I don’t remember a time in our family that we did not have full schedules.  It has always been a commotion, finally slowing down just a little when Tyler & Caroline went away to college.  Brian, Riley and I fell into a simple routine, and most weeks it was just me and Riley home with Brian’s work travel keeping him away.  I didn’t really ‘plan’ menus anymore, and we ate out A LOT.   It seems like we have time traveled now.  Everyone is home, I am cooking and baking WAY more than I have in years, and we have a full house.  Yes, we are trapped home with social distancing, but the simplicity of everyone just being home, is actually really nice.   And as we approach one month of quarantine, the kids get it.  I know they are unhappy, but they understand why, and have come to terms with the seriousness of this pandemic.

The weather was a TOP 10 today – when Riley was little she would refer to a day like today as a “sunshiney day”, and that is exactly what it was.   A great number of people  were walking, running, riding bicycles and walking dogs in our neighborhood.  Everyone maintained the 6-8 feet social distance,  avoiding each other like the plague.   Something had changed though – while the weather was an instant mood lifter, and there was laughter and smiles on those enjoying the beautiful day, there is a sense of unease and uncertainty surrounding our community.   We have been warned that America is bracing for its hardest week during this pandemic, so I think that is weighing heavy on everyones mind.   I will once again quote my pop, “Do not be afraid of tomorrow, God is already there…”

Stay safe, stay home, and be there for one another during these trying times.  We rise by lifting others, and this is the time to RISE.

XO, KB

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Someone complimented me a few days ago, and told me  that they loved my blog, and the ‘positive spin’ I put on things while writing during this COVID 19  pandemic.   In addition to that, my mom refers to it as my ‘column’, and my dear Aunt Maria said I write like my dad.  All of these kind words make my heart swell, and I am humbled, but not quite deserving.   In the beginning, I had plenty of funny stories to tell, mishaps that occurred during our days, and fun ways we were passing the time.   As we approach our fourth week in quarantine, with no end in sight, it’s gotten a bit more difficult for me to write keeping things positive.   I started this blog in 2016 when I lost my dad.  While it was not a daily blog, I wrote when I needed to share something about my grief journey.  It was a kind of therapy, and as I write this now, it is playing the same role.   Frankly, I am losing my sh** like everyone else.  Taking a moment, or a day to myself,  like I did today (not so easy while we are all home) to re-group and re-focus was essential.  I did not watch ANY news today, and I didn’t study the statistics or numbers – it’s not necessary, we are approaching the peak and it’s not pretty.   Today, I just felt sad.

Fortunately we had a beautiful day, and everyone got out and exercised.  It’s been a very long time since my family had a catch on the front lawn, and the dogs were treated to a marathon walk.  On their walk, Brian was saying “hello neighbor” to people  who are NOT our neighbors, and the girls were just shrieking with laughter.   I took a walk alone, and with every person I encountered at a “social distance”, it became even more clear we are all in this together.  Our community is in a battle to the end, and we have got to play our part.   I miss my people.   I miss life as we knew it.

Our big adventure yesterday took us to the new Krispy Kreme Donut drive through, masks & gloves on, and a dozen donuts to bring instant smiles to our faces.  The kids are all convinced it was Brian who consumed the most, and I must admit I do too – but really, in the scheme of things?  Who the hell cares at this point.  It created HAPPY, and in my mind, that is what we need to do, as much as possible.

Here is a closing thought, when all this is behind us, and we have our freedom back, who will you hug first?  For me, there is no question, I will be racing out to Long Island into the arms of my Mom – because that is the only place I want to be right now.

Let’s keep those prayer chains going, and hope that the miracles we need are soon granted.  Stay home,  let’s flatten this curve together, and remember who is in charge.

XO, KB

 

This morning I was up at 5:00am – the dogs were very restless last night, and I was fighting what I think is a lingering migraine headache.   Haven’t had one in ages, but I am not surprised that one would make an appearance now.  It was easier to get up and get my day started, than lay in bed and dwell on all the ‘what if’s” and “what now’ s.

The window directly in front of my chair, where I start the day with my coffee, allows the first speck of the sunrise to come in to the room, as it gets higher and higher, I usually have to close my blinds if it’s going to be a spectacularly sunny day.   I have written many times how special a sunrise is to me, and if a tiny glimmer through the trees behind a neighbors house is all I can get?  I’ll take it.  I thought there was nothing this morning though, just daylight arriving without much fanfare, until I moved to the kitchen window and there is was.  Thank you Mother Nature, for another beautiful start to my day.

In one of the groups I follow on Facebook, I read a post by a lady that lives in our town, who was looking for some assistance in getting groceries delivered during this pandemic.  She mentioned she lives alone, has no car, and gets by on ONE monthly disability check.  Anyone who has been dealing with the grocery stores right now, knows its a challenging time for deliveries/online shopping and other shop from home services.  It bothered me for days, that someone in her situation was struggling to have food delivered.  I had a nagging feeling that there was more to this, that true help was needed and she was too proud to ask.  This morning, I dropped off four bags of groceries on her front steps, just the basics (or so I thought) to tide her over until I convinced her to let me help on a more permanent basis.  I sent her a quick text as I drove away, and the note I received an hour later brought me to tears.   She told me it felt like “Christmas”, that she hasn’t bought meat in over 6 months because she can’t afford it on her disability income, and how did I know that her refrigerator was nearly empty?   Today was the last time that will happen.   Welcome to the family Ms. Janis, we’ve got you covered.

While I was out delivering the groceries this morning, my good friend who owns my hair salon, went into her shop and mixed my hair color for me, and left it outside for me to pick up.   One of things I miss the most is having coffee with my friend, while she does my color every few weeks.   We were able to have a ‘car to car’ visit, 10 feet apart,  yelling out the window – it was the closest I could get to socializing, but that little interaction was good for my soul!  I have never attempted to color my own hair, but it was time for desperate measures.   I needed a little help, and for the first time in 32 years, Brian had to assist.  It was quite a scene, and I am not sure he is over it yet.

As we are delving deeper into this period of quarantine, it appears that the COVID19 cases are growing in number.  It is going to get worse when we reach the ‘peak’ that we are being warned about.   I know firsthand a number of people who are on their way to recovery, and have fought their way through this debilitating virus.   There have been patients at one of our local hospital who have come OFF the ventilator and can now breathe on their own.  Further testing and treatments are being developed.  Temporary hospitals are being built and set up, and reinforcements are coming from other cities to aide the over burdened healthcare workers all over NY and NJ.  Supplies are trickling in, from the most incredible sources, and the tri-state area is FIGHTING this war.    We are blessed to have doctors and nurses and all the other essential personnel giving 150% selfishly, at the expense of their own health and that of their families.   The overwhelming sense of pride and gratitude I feel on the ‘sidelines’ is indescribable.   My dad always said the only prayer you ever need to say, is ‘thank you, thank you, thank you’ and I say that for all who are fighting many times a day.

Remember, you are not “stuck at home, you are SAFE at home”.  Stay home.  Stay Safe.

xo, KB

 

Today was day 3 of cloudy skies and rain, anyone who has ever doubted the power of the weather on a mood, should do so while under quarantine!  It didn’t stop the walkers and runners in the neighborhood though, with all the parks and school tracks closed, our neighborhoods have become our exercise tracks.    I was working at my desk this morning which overlooks the street in front of our home, and as usual Kooper and Kody were staring out the window.  Someone I had never seen before was pushing a toddler in a stroller past our home.   I immediately launched into my “sshhhhh, be quiet, no barking, lay down!” speech to the dogs so they wouldn’t start their noise making antics.   (We never want to be THAT house on the street…)  My window was open, and I heard the lady singing “How much is that doggie in the window” to her child, and then she said “Oh no!  They aren’t in the window today!”    So, maybe we ARE that house on the street, but this made me smile. Whoever that was, look up tomorrow, they are sure to be watching out the window.

When deciding which ‘happy’ souvenir shirt to wear today, I decided to focus on one of my many Fordham University sweatshirts.    It feels like yesterday that we had moved Tyler in to his Freshman Dorm at the Rose Hill Campus in the Bronx.    Sending our first one off to college was so exciting!  Now, he is approaching the END of his senior year.  It is a bittersweet time for him.  Due to COVID19, his last semester is being spent at home, taking classes virtually, completly isolated from his friends and all things related to senior year.  It was especially disappointing for him (& us) when commencement was postponed until further notice, but we are hopeful they plan something for the Fordham  Class of 2020 when all the restrictions are lifted.  I am so proud of him for his resilience and attitude during this period, but I know deep down he is crushed.  I remember saying to him when we left him at his dorm 4 years ago, “do great things Tyler” and he most certainly has.

The COVID19 snacking situation has gotten a little out of control this past week.  Today I had to tackle the main pantry in the kitchen, and make some sense of it.  No one is using a chip clip and it’s driving me batty.   Under ‘normal’ circumstances this probably wouldn’t bother me, but come on!!!  I was forced to post a reminder today.  We’ll see if anyone listens.  These are not little kids!

We celebrated my nephew and godson’s 12th birthday tonight “virtually” with all our families on FaceTime.   It was especially great to have Brian’s parents see all their grandchildren together, even on the computer screen.   We were impressed with their technical savvy, and despite a few glitches we made it all work.  Happy Birthday Chase, we love you!   These virtual visits are the glue holding families together right now.

Every day that we are in isolation practicing social distancing, we are doing our part to flatten the curve.  Yet the daily statistics are alarming, and it is predicted to get much worse within the next two weeks.  It’s easy to get caught up in the frenzy and hysteria that is being portrayed on the news and social media.   At the same time, communities are coming together and fighting this with all they can.   I am filled with pride watching friends and neighbors getting together to feed the healthcare workers at the local hospitals, donating supplies and money, making sure the senior citizens have what they need, and organizing car parades for isolated birthday boys and girls.   There is so much GOOD, despite so much SAD.

I have a book of my dad’s that I turn to from time to time, it is filled with highlighted scriptures and passages, and some of them have notes written next to them in his unique handwriting.  A few days ago when I was reading through it, missing him tremendously, this one particular passage struck a chord, ‘I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances’ – Philippians 4:11.   It is taking a whole lot of strength to be content during this pandemic, is being content even possible?     So that is what I am going to try to do.   I can’t help but wonder when and why my dad needed to remind himself of that.

Stay safe, stay home.  It is what it is.

XO, KB

 

 

Early this morning, once again as I was having that first cup of coffee, I watched in awe the news coverage of the US Navy medical ship COMFORT arriving to NY harbor.    What a powerful image it was, and after a little digging online, I was able to locate a New York harbor webcam (www.portnywebcam.com) which enabled me to watch it sail down the Hudson River until it was docked.  It was a majestic sight -surrounded by Coast Guard & Police escort boats, and police helicopters hovering above.  It was especially beautiful as it passed by the Statue of Liberty, the gateway into our city.  It is a massive ship, and having seen it in it’s dry dock last summer at the Norfolk Naval base in Virginia, I never expected to see it here on such an important mission.   The last time it was in New York City was shortly after 9/11.  What an important role this ship has played during the toughest of times.  I couldn’t get the image of that ship out of my head all day, so much so that Brian and I took a drive to the NJ side of the Hudson River, so I could see it in person across the river, once again.  God bless all those who arrived on that ship to provide assistance, certainly an overwhelming feeling of pride for our military.

In keeping with yesterday’s post regarding my souvenir’s, today’s shirt comes from our happy place in Virginia.  About 15 minutes from our summer beach rental in Sandbridge, VA is ‘The Lucky Oyster’.  One of our favorite ‘go to’ spots (plus, they have the best shirts!) to eat at while at the beach.  If we were there tonight, we’d be having a bucket of beer and a whole lot of clams, maybe even stopping there on our way back from visiting the Naval base in Norwalk…  (How was that only seven months ago?)  I am going to keep wearing the ‘happy’ – it certainly worked today.

We are all missing our family and friends during this time of quarantine, and tonight Brian and I scheduled a “virtual” happy hour with our good friends at 5:30pm.  It certainly wasn’t the same as sitting on the beach, on their front porch or on our back deck, but seeing their faces and hearing their voices, was such a tremendous lift to our spirits.  We have scheduled another one for Friday that will include all the “kids” around our fire pit on the deck, albeit via FaceTime.

Today was one of the better days for me since we’ve been home – can’t pinpoint exactly why,  I didn’t sleep much last night and I even took a break from my virtual yoga class due to a multitude of yoga aches and pains.  It could be the happy plant I bought yesterday, (maybe it’s working already!), wearing my happy shirt from the Lucky Oyster, our virtual visit with our friends, or the sense of ‘comfort’ that sailed into NY harbor this morning.  I was also blessed with a ‘sign’ from my pop this morning, which always puts a bright spot in my day.  So whatever/whomever made today a good one, thank you!  I am in a good frame of mind, and it is most certainly welcome.   It is what it is.

Stay safe, STAY HOME, and be well…

XO, KB

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I woke up this morning, my biggest decision was what to wear for yet another day home.  Sweatpants?  Leggings?  Workout gear? My outfits haven’t varied much since we have been home.  In digging through my tee-shirt drawer, I came across my piles of “souvenir” tee shirts and sweatshirts.   Anyone who knows me, knows I am a huge souvenir gal.  I have to get something from everywhere – magnets, shirts and mugs from our travels and the concerts we’ve attended.   Brian used to give me a hard time about it, was it necessary? did I really need ANOTHER shirt?  But after 32 years, it’s one of things he is resigned too now.   This morning I decided, you know what?  During this stay at home time, I am going to break out all my souvenir shirts.   A perfect way to remember fond memories and fun times, and hold on to the hope that we will be traveling back to those special places and attending concerts once again.   My sweatshirt from the Thomas Rhett “Very Hot Summer 2019” tour was the lucky winner today – how I wish Brian and I were in our seats at MSG right now!

I ventured out to Wegman’s to grocery shop this morning as early as I could get myself moving.  It was packed, and I questioned my rationale to do this on a Sunday morning with all the crowds.  Wegman’s is so impressive with the way they are handling the COVID 19 situation.   They have security ALL over, sanitizing carts, wipes, gloves, and extra precautions being taken in the aisles and at checkout.  It is the ONLY grocery store I will go too now, for these practices alone.  I power shopped, raced through as fast as I could, and made a quick stop in the floral department.   I am thrilled with what I found there – something called a “Happy Plant”!   I have no live greenery in the house, and according to the label,  “Warning: this plant will boost your mood”.   I am so excited to have a real live instant mood buster in my kitchen.   And if it works?  A bargain at $7.99.

I seem to be buying a lot of groceries – maybe because it is the only public place we are allowed to go, and actually see & interact (at a distance) with real live non-family members.   I have this internal urgent need to stock up on everything, just in case.  Just in case what though?  If I get sick?  If we are banned from going out to the grocery store at our leisure? I don’t know why, I just have this nagging feeling of unease, and I just need to be prepared.  It’s part of my role, and although nothing will go to waste, our shelves and closets are filled to the brim.

We learned today we will be quarantined for another 30 days – and to be honest I think I was the one who handled it the worst.   I was washing the dishes after dinner, and when Tyler shared the news with me, I felt sick.  I miss my mom.  I miss my sisters and my friends, my routine, and man am I feeling ugly!  I’ll do anything to keep my family safe, and most importantly do what we need to do to flatten the curve, but it’s not easy.   I guess we will be having Easter in our pajamas.  It is what it is.

Father McShane, the President of my son’s college, Fordham University, sent out a beautiful note and prayer this morning to students and parents.   As I read it with my morning coffee, he closed with the following – he reminded us of the CALL  that we have all received: Natus ad Altiora, “Born for Higher Things”, for we have all been called to higher things.  This is the time to take that to heart and do what we need to do, and challenge our selves to do our best.

Stay safe,

XO, KB

 

 

 

 

When I have my early morning coffee (my favorite part of the day), I love to check my “Timehop” app to see what we were doing on the same day in prior years.   Today, a social media post from 3 years ago struck a chord.  I wrote;  “Looking forward to the day when our family is all going in the same direction and we aren’t spinning in 100 different places” .  Well here we are, life as we know it has come to a standstill.  I certainly got my wish, but how I wish it was under different circumstances.

We have been home together for a little over two weeks now, and seem to have fallen into some sort of a daily routine.  Despite the crappy weather today,  we had a summer bbq for lunch.   Brian grilled hotdogs in the rain, and I made tater tots and macaroni salad – just like when they were little.  At lunch, we plan dinner, and the day goes on.  I found today a bit of a challenge without any outdoor activities – as the fresh air is essential for my mental health & clarity during this time.

During his daily news conference with our Governor, Phil Murphy, he referred to social distancing/isolation as “social solitude:”   I can tell you our family is feeling it all.  Distance, isolation, and solitude. It’s not easy, but I am trying to think of it as the gift of time, partnered with togetherness.   I think the kids get it now, that we are in this for the long haul, and that we are not in control.

I stumbled upon a passage today from Hebrews 1:11, Voice – “Faith is the assurance of things you have hoped for, the absolute conviction that there are realities you’ve never seen.”   Well, here we are, holding it together keeping the faith.  It is what it is.

Stay safe, be well.

XO, KB