It’s still strange that on Sunday evening, we are not preparing for a busy week ahead. When things were ‘normal’, by this time of day, after Sunday dinner, everyone will have dispersed to get ready for the week. Brian would be in his office, Riley in her room, and I would be cleaning up from dinner and making sure all of Riley’s school uniforms were clean and ready. Tyler and Caroline would be at college in their respective apartments, and some Sunday nights we would have a family call on Google hangout to catch up. Now, it’s just a weeknight. Nothing spectacular, it’s dark and rainy, and the weather is supposed to be the same tomorrow. Without realizing, I consumed an abnormal amount of caffeine today, and with my poor sleep habits & insomnia, I know I am in for a challenging night ahead. There is a scrap piece of paper I found in one of my dad’s books, and it said “perhaps when you wake up in the middle of the night and cannot get back to sleep, it is a sign there is something or someone you need to pray for”. I have to remember this at 3:00am when I am grumbling over those many cups of coffee that have become my fuel.
Brian & I went to Lowe’s today to pick up a few things for various home projects, and I wanted to take our time and look at every single aisle. I miss browsing and shopping in all my favorite stores that are closed now, and I was so desperate for some ‘retail therapy’, that I found excitement in picking out new doormats and stain for my new raised planter. I had a longer than usual conversation with the clerk at the register, because he was happy and kind, and someone new!!!! We then had a wild lunch date, in the car, after going through the drive-thru at Wendy’s… Before Covid 19, this day would have been drastically different.
I miss the nooks and crannies of the places we feel at home in. The coffee shop, the salon, the gym, my friends home’s, my mom’s couch, and my sister’s comfy chair & her dog Buster. My “people”, Joe at the gym, Sam at the bagel shop, Emmy at my salon – the everyday snippets of conversation and daily catch up. I have always surrounded myself with tons of people – they enrich me, they nurture me, and they encompass who I have become as an adult over the years.
I miss the laughter of my daughter’s friends when they come over and huddle in the basement- coming upstairs for snacks, and asking if they can order Pizza. I miss being able to stop at my friends house for coffee or wine, to hash out a problem, or seek advice about a dilemma I was facing. It seems so trivial, but my ‘people’ make up the core of my being.
My friend Emmy had a birthday yesterday. For the last eight years, I have baked her a cake and delivered it to her shop with presents on her special day. I was not going to let this year pass by without doing it, despite the restrictions we have in place. I delivered it without being able to hug her or celebrate like in years passed, but we smiled and laughed at a distance. It is what it is.
This is temporary – I can say it over and over again, but some days the “missing” is tougher than normal. We are so blessed, and so lucky in so many ways. I cannot wait to get back in my routine, see my people, make plans, and just be. I know we are on our way….
Stay home, stay safe…. let’s flatten that curve and embrace the future.
XO. KB
Finding my way... 